Fear of Falling Page 2

  “Oh wow, you’re related to that tool?” Angel snickered. “My sincere apologies.”

  “He’s an ass, but he’s harmless,” Blaine replied with a one-shouldered shrug and a crooked grin. The combination was incredibly adorable, and I had to squelch a rising swoony sigh. “So is there anything else I can get you ladies?”

  As always, Angel commanded attention. “Well, handsome, we will have two shots of tequila to start.” She peered at my melancholy expression through dramatically long eyelashes. “Actually, make that four shots. Maybe I’ll get lucky,” she winked.

  Blaine smirked knowingly before scraping his bottom lip with his teeth. Something inside me clenched. “Was I right?” he asked, suddenly directing his attention to me.

  I frowned, completely caught off guard. “Huh?”

  He uncrossed his arms and took a step forward, causing me to take in a sharp breath. “About your nationality. I was right, wasn’t I?”

  “Um uh…” I stammered. I wasn’t entirely sure why I had suddenly lost my train of thought, but all I could focus on was that pesky lock of hair that was slowly easing its way from outside of his ball cap once more.

  “Oh, Kami’s nationality?” Angel piped up, her eyes darting between Blaine and me questioningly. “Her mom’s from the Philippines.”

  With his eyes never straying from mine, Blaine smiled crookedly and nodded. Then he turned away from the table, stealing my breath and taking it with him back to the bar to retrieve our shots.

  “What the fuck was that about?” Angel squeaked in her high-pitched soprano. The crude comment was a direct contrast to her bell-chime tone.

  After regaining the usage of limbs and brain function, I turned to Angel. “Nothing. He and his cousin were trying to figure out what I was.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I get that… I’m talking about the obvious Take me, take me now stares. I mean, seriously, did it just get hot in here or what? I thought he was about to ask you to grab your ankles!”

  I shook my head and looked down at my peeling nail polish. “No, you’re seeing things. Besides, I’m not going down that road again. I’m done.”

  “Sure, sure, sweetheart. Whatever you say. I love you anyway,” she grinned, blowing me a kiss and eliciting a chuckle from me. “There’s that smile!”

  Just as I was beginning to unwind, Blaine returned with a tray of shots, lime slices, and salt. With one extra. He distributed our four, then picked one up for himself, raising it in a toast. Angel looked to me with a wicked gleam and picked up the saltshaker. She leaned over, then seductively licked my neck and sprinkled a little salt on it. Feeling satisfied with my compliancy, she eased a lime wedge between my lips and picked up her shot glass. My eyes fluttered closed when her small hands cradled my face and sucked the salt from my neck, licking and nuzzling as if we were alone in the room. Then she pulled back, clinked her glass against Blaine’s, and downed her poison. For the second time today, her lips pressed against mine, as they sucked the wedge of lime.

  Blaine didn’t even bother with his own slice; he was too busy staring at the girls practically making out in front of him. From a few yards away, I could hear Craig catcalling and cheering, yet Blaine was silent, a small smile playing on his perfect lips. It made me wonder if he was just being respectful or was gay himself.

  “Ok, your turn, Kami!” Angel exclaimed. With a sigh, I nodded and began to make my way towards her neck when she grasped my shoulders, halting my approach. “Not me, silly! Him. He doesn’t have another shot, and I want to take the next one with you. Don’t worry, I won’t get jealous.”

  My eyes instantly whipped to his furrowed brow, both our expressions full of surprise. “Um, Angel, honey, I think that is highly inappropriate. There’s no way I could do something like that to him. He works here.”

  Blaine licked his lips and cleared his throat. Somehow it sounded more like a groan. “I don’t mind if you don’t, Kami,” he said. My name sounded different on his tongue, almost dirty. The delicious kind of dirty.

  I bit my bottom lip, and glared at Angel, knowing exactly what she was up to. She made everything into a game and was always looking for ways to be entertained. That attitude was embedded in her poor-little-rich-girl persona. She returned my evil eye with a wink and waved her hand towards Blaine.

  Not feeling nearly drunk enough, yet warm from my previous drinks, I rolled my eyes and returned my attention back to the deliciously tattooed bartender before me. “Um, ok. I guess.”

  Blaine smiled sheepishly before pulling up a chair and straddling it backwards. Now he was closer to me, so close that I could smell him. And I’ll be damned if he didn’t smell amazing. It was a mix of mint and spicy cologne that paired with his body’s natural scent in a way that made my mouth water. I silently cursed again, but directed it at Angel this time. I should have never smelled that man. It was wrong. So, so wrong. Yet so, so good.

  I mustered up my courage and inched towards him slowly. Blaine kept his eyes on mine, refusing to even blink in my pursuit. I knew he had to hear my heart nearly pounding through my chest; hell, it was all I could hear. His gaze never wavered. When I was only inches from the smooth, tanned skin of his neck, he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and tilted his head, giving me full access to the known erogenous zone. By this point, my heart was hammering double time, and I thought I might go into cardiac arrest at any second. I had to keep going. I couldn’t let him see just how much he affected me. Angel and I had done this plenty of times with guys way less good-looking. This man should be no exception.

  The taste of his skin caused a tiny moan to escape my throat as the tip of my warm tongue licked a trail toward his earlobe. He tasted exactly how he smelled—of mint and spice. It made me want to keep licking and suck that earlobe right into my mouth, to nibble it gently between my teeth. Aware of the spike in his breathing at the feel of my wet tongue, I pulled back to gauge his reaction. Blaine’s eyes were hooded, low, and smoldering, and I knew that they matched my own. His teeth released his bottom lip and his tongue rested on it, ready for… I don’t know what. But I noticed. I noticed everything about him in that moment. With the taste of him still lingering on my tongue, it was damn near impossible not to.

  Angel cleared her throat and nudged me with the saltshaker, bringing me back to the here and now. I took it from her, not even bothering to acknowledge her presence, and sprinkled a bit on the moistness drying on his neck. With another nudge, she passed me a lime wedge. Tentatively, I advanced towards him again, my eyes trained on that tongue. With just an inch separating my fingertips and his lips, Blaine opened his mouth just a fraction, and I saw it. A barbell. His freakin’ tongue was pierced.

  I knew I should have stopped there. I was getting in way over my head. Really? Body shots with a complete stranger? Not only that, but a tattooed, pierced stranger that screamed recklessness? But I couldn’t stop myself from leaning forward. I couldn’t keep my tongue from darting out and licking that salty trail, sucking his skin gently into my mouth, and causing him to groan. After I downed the shot of tequila, his flavor still hadn’t left my mouth. It coaxed me to cradle his face and crush my lips to his. The wedge of lime may have separated our mouths, but I distinctly felt Blaine’s soft lips and the warmth of his breath. I didn’t even bother to suck the lime at first. I just let my eyes close for a split second and enjoyed the intimate feeling. It was… incredible. Stupid and dangerous, yet incredible.

  Remembering the task at hand, I gave the slice of citrus a suck, eliciting another groan from Blaine. Then I realized I was actually sucking his lip. His bottom lip, so soft and sweet, was in my mouth, and I had been running my tongue along it. I pulled away quickly, abandoning the lime and letting it fall to the floor between us. Neither one of us made a move to pick it up. There was too much…there. I don’t know what it was that crackled between us, but it was there. And it was confusing the hell out of me.

  Blaine’s expression was still full of desire and question, making me believe tha
t he was just as confused about what transpired. My lips burned and I wanted to feel that fire again immediately. The way he licked his lips signaled that he wanted the same.

  “Woo hoo, cuz!” Craig sidled up, clapping Blaine on the back and breaking our trance. “Looks like you wanna be the meat in the sandwich tonight! You lucky sonofabitch!”

  Blaine looked up at his cousin and blinked rapidly, as if he had been entranced for the past five minutes. Jumping from his chair with enough force to make it screech against the hardwood, his eyes darted between Angel and me before settling on my face. Then he…frowned. He frowned like I had just manipulated him and forced my tongue down his throat. Like he regretted the semi-kiss we just shared. I looked down at my last shot and threw it back, not even bothering with salt and lime. I don’t think I could ever use those accompaniments again.

  “Um, uh, if there’s nothing else…” he stuttered, chewing that lip again. The very same lip that I had just sucked lime juice from. “Yeah, I’ll be at the bar if you need anything.” Then he turned and retreated back to safety, leaving us with his dim-witted cousin.

  Plopping down in the chair that Blaine abandoned, Craig smiled brightly at us as if he were next in line. I rolled my eyes at him and looked to Angel who was wearing a devilish grin. I was beginning to think those were the only kinds of smiles she possessed.

  “So, it’s CJ, right? Hi, I’m Angel Cassidy,” she announced with an air of arrogance that only Angel could pull off gracefully. She extended her hand to him and he received it eagerly.

  “Yeah. Well, the name is Craig, but people been callin’ me CJ since I was a kid. Real good to meet ya, Angel. Real good. The name certainly fits.”

  Angel held up her hands in warning before CJ could go any further. “Ugh, do not ask me if it hurt when I fell from heaven, or if I have wings, or any other dumb ass pick-up lines.”

  Tuning them out as they made small talk, I looked towards the bar, instantly locking eyes with Blaine who was staring intently. Several seconds ticked by before either of us could do anything but breathe. Finally, a bar patron grabbed his attention and stole his gaze from me. I was thankful and highly irritated, all wrapped into one.

  “So CJ, what’s your cousin’s deal? Is he seeing anyone?” Angel asked, provoking me to whirl around and narrow my eyes at her.

  Craig looked back towards the bar where Blaine was still helping a customer. “Who, B? Nah. He doesn’t have a girl. Not anymore. Why?”

  “Oh, no reason,” Angel replied, darting her eyes to me. She was up to no good, which was usually the case. Before she could inquire if Blaine was a boxer or briefs guy, the older, bearded guy that served me earlier poked his head from behind a door a few yards away and summoned Craig to the back.

  “I think it’s time to go,” I said, forcing myself not to look towards the bar.

  “What? I haven’t had nearly enough to drink!” And with that, Angel waved directly towards the area I was trying to avoid.

  Seconds later, Blaine was in front of us, his tattooed hands grasping the edge of the table. His presence brought it all back to me…his scent, his taste, the way his body was a work of art that I wanted to paint with my tongue. All the reasons why I most definitely should not speak to him again.

  “Hey Blaine, can we get a couple more? And don’t forget to grab a shot for you too,” Angel winked.

  “He can have mine,” I mumbled, refusing to look at him.

  I felt a lone finger brush against my forehead, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. Then it traced the curve of my earlobe, making me shiver. His touch resumed the pesky pounding in my chest.

  “Are you sure, Kami?” he asked with a husky voice. The same voice he used with me before as he described my eyes, my hair, my lips…and what should be done to them.

  Unable to string a sentence together, I simply nodded. Blaine made no move to leave. He kept touching me, like feeling my skin was the most natural thing in the world to him. Slowly, he leaned down to me, coming in so close that his scent of mint and spice filled my nostrils. We were almost eye-level, and I couldn’t do more than hold my breath with anticipation. I should have been scared by his touch. I should have stopped him before he moved any closer into my personal space. But I just…couldn’t.

  “Hey, you don’t have to pretend anymore,” he said just above a whisper.

  “Pretend?” I exhaled, the word coming out in a rush. What does he know of my pretending? There’s no way I could be that transparent. I’d had years of practice.

  “Yeah,” he grinned crookedly. “CJ’s gone. You can stop pretending…that you girls are together. That you’re gay.”

  “Excuse me?” Angel piped up, her voice laced with annoyance. “What makes you think that we’re pretending to be gay?”

  Blaine’s eyes darted to Angel for a split second, and he shook his head lightly. “Not you.” Then his chocolate brown gaze was back on me, sweeping over every inch of my face. It was like he was studying every feature, trying to unveil some big mystery. “Her. She’s pretending.”

  “How do you know I’m not a lesbian too?” I asked. The question was meant to come out with a trace of attitude, but it ended up being breathy and light.

  As if the sound of my betraying voice amused him, Blaine flashed that boyish grin. My tenacity was going…going….gone.

  “Because I’m pretty sure you’re feeling the same thing I’m feeling right now.”

  Then he did something that had me yanking my purse open, throwing down a twenty, and high-tailing it out of there in 3.5 seconds.

  He took off his worn cap and ran a hand through his hair, the light brown locks settling into perfectly messy “just-fucked” hair. Hair I wanted to grab and tug while his tongue slid against mine. Hair that I wanted to feel tickling my sensitive areas while he worked me over with that metal-studded tongue.

  I was in my car and flying out of the parking lot before Angel even made it outside.

  “Oooh…a little harder,” Angel cooed. “You don’t have to be so gentle. It won’t break.”

  “Like this?” I hummed.

  “Yes, yes. That’s right. Feel it swell and vibrate…see how good it feels on your fingertips.”

  I gasped in surprise. “Oh yeah, you’re right. Wow…that’s incredible.”

  “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

  “Mmmm,” I hummed, too caught up in the moment to say much more.

  A flirty giggle escaped her red glossy lips. “I told you; it’s the best.”

  I sighed with contentment then returned Angel’s brand new, very expensive, top-of-the-line guitar to her waiting hands. “Well, it certainly sounds like it. Too bad I can’t even think about a new one until I find a job,” I frowned, diverting my attention back to the listings on my laptop screen.

  “I told you, Kami; you don’t have to worry about rent,” Angel remarked, strumming a tune of her own. She hummed along with the melody.

  I let out a breath then looked back up at her. “There’s no way I am skipping out on rent. What Dom and I pay is already peanuts. Plus, I am getting sick of you two feeling like you have to foot the bill for every outing.”

  “Well, you know you could always dip into your money…” she said, her voice trailing off into a whisper at the end.

  I gave her a stoic look. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not touching it and I don’t want it.”

  “Kami, that money is yours. It was owed to you. You have every right to spend it.”

  “No,” I answered, shaking my head. “It was owed to my mother about fifteen years ago. It can rot away at the bank for all I care.”

  I wanted the satisfaction of earning my own way, not taking something that my mother could have desperately used to raise me. But Angel Cassidy, bless her heart, knew nothing about that. She came from money—old money. And since her parents were ultra-conservative and didn’t accept her sexuality, or “lifestyle choices” as they called it, they were more than happy to buy her a plush condo, car, and anything else
her pretty little heart desired to keep her from showing up at the country club in her scandalous rocker motif with a busty groupie on her arm.

  I went back to scouring the Help Wanted ads while Angel jotted down lyrics as they came to her. Seeing my frustration at the lack of options, she asked, “Why don’t you just go back to the firm? I’m sure Kenneth would be professional about the whole thing.”

  I shook my head. No, that definitely wouldn’t be a good idea. “I can’t, Angel. You didn’t see the pain on his face. I really wounded him.”

  “But it’s been a couple weeks. Maybe he’s gotten over it. I’m sure he wouldn’t hold a grudge.”

  “Angel, honey, I was his secretary and he is a partner at his firm. And I basically told him I didn’t want him anymore after he confessed to being in love with me and seeing a future for us. Does that sound like a situation that’s easy to get over?” I asked with a raised brow.

  “But you guys only dated for a couple months! And a guy like Kenneth…he’s probably too concerned about his reputation to make a scene on the job.”

  I shrugged and let out a breath. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. It was a temp job; you can’t just pop up whenever you feel like it. I just hope that he finds what he’s looking for…with someone capable of returning his affections.”

  “Sorry,” Angel whispered, her lower lip jutted out.

  I gave her a sincere smile. “Don’t be. I made a huge mistake getting involved with someone on the job, especially my boss. You live and you learn, and I certainly won’t be doing that again. Plus, I’m used to…being this way. I wish I could say I was used to hurting people but I don’t think anyone gets used to being a cold, heartless bitch.”

  Angel propped her custom-detailed pink guitar against its stand and came over to wrap her arms around me. “Kamilla Duvall, you are not a cold, heartless bitch. You just haven’t met the one worth giving your heart to. So it’s just a little harder to find because you’ve been burying it for so long.”